英汉幽默故事选读【111】To Borrow an Ox（借公牛一用… 2007-9-24 21:21:24 　·111.To Borrow an Ox　　Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didnt know any words.　　One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man.　　After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, OK, I know. Go and tell your master, Ill go myself shortly.Notes:　　(1) he pretended to be reading it他假装读着字条。　　(2) pretend to do佯装做Exercises:根据短文回答下列问题：　　① When did the …… 英汉幽默故事选读【112】Only One Eye to Settle On（… 2007-9-24 21:21:20 　·112. Only One Eye to Settle On　　The girl found the go-between and said, You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didnt you tell me this before ?　　I have told you. said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.Notes:　　(1) go-between n.媒人　　(2) settle on选定；决定Exercises:根据短文判断下列句子正（T）、（F）：　　① The girl was angry with the go-between for having cheated her.　　② The girl married the one-eyed man.　　③ The go-between hadnt told the …… 英汉幽默故事选读【113】A Short Holiday（短期假日） 2007-9-24 21:21:12 　·113.A Short Holiday　　Alan worked in an office in the city. He worked very hard and really looked forward to his holidays.　　He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food, fresh air, horse riding, walking, fishing. Reasonable prices .　　 This sounds like a good idea. he thought, I 11 spend a month at Willow Farm. Ill enjoy horse riding, walking and fishing. Theyll make a change from sitting by the seaside.　　…… 英汉幽默故事选读【114】A Womans answer（妇女的回答… 2007-9-24 21:21:05 　·114. A Womans answer　　A husband said to his wife, Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?　　Well, his wife answered at once. The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them.Notes:　　(1) create v.创造　　(2) foolish adj.愚蠢的Exercises:根据短文回答下列问题：　　① Who were talking to each other?　　② What question did the husband raise?　　③ The wife thought for a while before she answered, didnt she?　　④ How did the wife think of the reason?　　…… 英汉幽默故事选读【115】The Beat Salesman in the Wo… 2007-9-24 21:21:01 　·115.The Beat Salesman in the World　　Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay.　　 I m a great salesman. Harry told himself. I can sell anything. Ill go in and ask for that job.　　He went into the building and spoke to the manager.　　Im the best salesman in the world, he said. Give me the job. 　　You must prove youre the best, the manager said. 　　Ill pass every test you give me. Harry told him.　　Good.　　The manager took a box of candy out of his desk .　　La…… 英汉幽默故事选读【116】A Boy with a Big Head（大头… 2007-9-24 21:20:57 　·116. A Boy with a Big Head　　A boy cried to his mother, All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head.　　Dont listen to them, his mother said, You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes.　　Where is the shopping bag?　　I havent got one-use your hatNotes:　　(1) make fun of取笑；嘲弄　　(2) shopping bag购物袋Exercises:根据短文判断下列句子正（T）、（F）：　　① The boy was complaining to his mother.　　② Children made fun of him because he had a beautiful head.　　③ The m…… 英汉幽默故事选读【117】The Choice of Word（选词） 2007-9-24 21:20:53 　·117.The Choice of Word　　One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said Da-Dy to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word Dady to teach their baby.　　During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry Dady. His wife said to him, Darling, she is calling you. Then she turned to sleep.Notes:　　(1) shake v.摇晃　　(2) wake up唤醒；吵醒Exercises:根据短文填空：　　① Jo…… 英汉幽默故事选读【118】I，You and she（我，你，她） 2007-9-24 21:20:48 　·118. I，You and she　　Peter was a clever boy. On his first day at school, he learned three words: 1, You and She. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said, I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your classmate; You, You are my student. 　　When Peter went home, his father asked him what he had learned at school. Peter said at once, I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to his mother) She, She is your classmate; You, You are my student His f…… 英汉幽默故事选读【119】You May Select（可以选择） 2007-9-24 21:20:44 　·119. You May Select　　The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish.　　One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, My dear, what will we eat today?　　The wife said, You may select the dish today.　　The husband was very glad and asked, Which dishes are there today?　　Cabbage.　　The others?　　None.　　Then how to select?　　Eat or not eat! the wife said.Notes:　　(1) complain v.抱怨　　(2) cabbage n.白菜Exercises:根据短文选择正确答案：　　① What did the husband complain about?　　A. His wife sometimes cook…… 英汉幽默故事选读【120】Three Men in a Boat（三人同… 2007-9-24 21:20:40 　·120.Three Men in a Boat　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.　　Oh yes, he said. They are my friends.　　In that case, warned the officer, youd better get them out of here!　　Yes, sir, the man replied, and he began rowing furiously. Notes…… 英汉幽默故事选读【121】A Speeding Motorist（超速的… 2007-9-24 21:20:28 　·121. A Speeding Motorist　　A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. Dont you know what the blinking lights and siren mean? he demanded.　　Yes, sir, replied the driver.　　Then why didnt you pull over immediately?　　I would have, officer, the man said. But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.Notes:　　(1) patrol n.巡逻　　(2) blinking adj.闪烁的　　(3) siren n.警笛　　(4) pull over（将车、船等）开向一边让其他车、船超越　　(5) run off with（sb.）与…私奔Exercises:根据短文判断下列句子正（T）…… 英汉幽默故事选读【122】What Color（什么颜色） 2007-9-24 21:20:20 　·122.What Color　　An impoverished graduate student at Clemson University in South Carolina, I was excited when my father informed me that he had bought me a car. Hardly able to contain my enthusiasm, I asked Dad the typical questions: What kind is it? Does it have a stick shift? Does it have a tape deck?　　Its a 1982 Toyota, he replied. Its a four speed, and, yes, it has a tape deck . Pleased, I asked what color it was.　　Well, he said uncomfortably, which part?Notes:　　(1) impoverished adj.穷困的　　(…… 英汉幽默故事选读【123】Its Kind of Fitting（理应如… 2007-9-24 21:20:16 　·123.Its Kind of Fitting　　As a freshman at the University of Dayton in Ohio, I was eager to make a good impression on my new roommate. When I arrived at our dorm room, I found her putting on perfume. Thats a great scent, I said, making conversation.　　Thanks-it was from my boyfriend. Here, try some, she said, holding the bottle out for me.　　Unfortunately she let go before I had a firm grip, and the glass shattered on the tile floor. , Embarrassed, I tried to apologize, but she cut me off - Actuall…… 英汉幽默故事选读【124】Excellent Skills（绝妙的技巧… 2007-9-24 21:20:09 　·124. Excellent Skills　　After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.　　In an instant, a skycap was at his side. Sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.Notes:　　(1) land v.着陆 (3) skycap n.戴宽边帽子的人　　(2) desperation n. 无奈 (4) observe v.说Exercises:根据短文选择正确答案：　　① How was Newark Airport?　　A.…… 英汉幽默故事选读【125】Maternal Instinct（母性的本… 2007-9-24 21:20:01 　·125. Maternal Instinct　　As a new father, I quickly learned the true meaning of maternal instinct. Late one night, I was summoned to the hospital to attend to one of my patients. I quietly got up in the dark but tripped over a toy and crashed to the floor. As I lay there rubbing my sore leg, my wife slept on.　　Then there was a faint cough from the nursery . Debra leaped out of bed, running past me down the hall to our babys room. When she returned, she looked at me and said, What on earth are you…… 英汉幽默故事选读【126】An Excellent Scheme（妙计） 2007-9-24 21:19:57 　·126.An Excellent Scheme　　After 20 years as a pilot, I became an airport manger and soon found the stress was getting to me. I needed a release and wanted to buy a motorcycle, but my family thought it was too dangerous. My wife said, Why dont you start flying again?　　The next day, as I showed a businessman around the airport, he looked longingly at the planes. I used to take flying lessons, but my wife made quit, he lamented. She said it was dangerous.　　Tell her you want to get a motorcycle, I ad…… 英汉幽默故事选读【127】Easy or Not（方便与否） 2007-9-24 21:19:50 　·127. Easy or Not　　Pulling alongside our drive-up bank window, a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied, she backed away and tried again. After five attempts, she finally parked the car and rolled down her window. I greeted her with a simple Good morning.　　Good morning, she replied cheerfully. Im going to have to use this drive-up all the time. Its so easy!Notes:　　(1) alongside adv.沿着；靠着　　(2) drive-up n.驱车直达处　　(3) back up 退后Exercises:根据短文选择正…… 英汉幽默故事选读【128】I Want Her to go Nuts（我要… 2007-9-24 21:19:43 　·128.I Want Her to go Nuts　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.　　But youre not wearing any of those things.　　I know, said Mrs. Flinders. Its in case I should die before my husband. Im sure hed remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.Notes:　　(1) to have her portrait painted让人给她画像 to have sth done.要（让）别人做某事　　(2) portrait n.肖像　　(3) earring n. 耳环…… 英汉幽默故事选读【129】An Ad（广告） 2007-9-24 21:19:39 　·129. An Ad　　After a beautiful purebred puppy wandered onto our back porch and made himself at home, my husband composed an ad for the Lost and found column of the local newspaper. It read: A puppy, male, approximately nine months old, no collar, very friendly, found on Rockbridge Road. 　　I feared all the detail might encourage an unscrupulous person to claim the dog. As I methodically explained why each clue revealed too much, my husband dutifully crossed out the words. Finally, in frustration, …… 英汉幽默故事选读【130】Wedding or Not（要否结婚） 2007-9-24 21:19:31 　·130. Wedding or Not　　Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but never boiled over-just simmered. On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.　　Upon his return he exclaimed, Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - Theyre all widows now!Notes:　　(1) bachelor n.单身汉　　(2) court v.向求爱；追求　　(3) boil over 沸腾而溢出（本文指全身心地投入付出）　　(4) simmer v.（做菜时）煨（本文指见好就收）　　(5) whim n.一时的兴致；奇想　　……