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Cupid's Arrow Finds Its Mark -- in Cyberspace (2002)
Here are words of comfort for anyone who has spent more time than he
should in online chat rooms -- a British psychologist has found that
courtships begun in cyberspace can very well lead to true love.
Many "virtual" relationships thrive once potential partners
meet face-to-face because they already know each other so well through
their online encounters, said Jeffrey Gavin, a lecturer in psychology at
the University of Bath.
"Chat rooms don't lead to shallow and impersonal
relationships," Gavin said in an interview. "They lead to
really close relationships because people express themselves more freely
and are more open and honest on the Internet."
Gavin carried out in-depth interviews with 42 regular chat room users
aged 19 to 26 years. Of the volunteers he studied, 29 reported close
friendships or romantic relationships with people they met online, with
21 progressing to face-to-face meetings. One couple became engaged to be
married.
"What tends to happen is that, when they meet, it's a fairly
smooth transition from online to offline because they know each other so
well," said Gavin, who presented his findings to the annual
conference of the British Psychological Society (BPS) in Blackpool on
Friday.
"Online, guys can be more emotionally honest and open, while
women can be more overtly sexual."
His research also showed that most chat room users tell a few white
lies about their height or the color of their hair. But in most cases
they were minor misrepresentations rather than outright fabrication.
"They still seem to comply to the social norms around the
body," said Gavin. "So the guys tend to make themselves sound
blond and blue-eyed, while the women add a bit of blond to their hair or
increase their bust size slightly.
"It's true, twelve of them told outright lies but the rest just
exaggerated slightly."
英国一位心理学家最近发现网上恋情很有可能发展成为真爱，这则消息格外迎合那些成天泡在网上聊天室里的网友们的心理。
英国巴斯大学的心理学讲师杰弗里·加文说，许多网友通过在网上的接触彼此已经十分了解了，因此当他们在现实生活中见面时，他们在网络空间的"虚拟"关系往往会得到很顺利的发展。
加文在接受采访时说："网友们在聊天室里建立起来的关系并非人们想象的那样肤浅、没有任何感情投入。相反，由于人们在网络空间中表达自己的时候会比平时更加坦白、诚实、无拘无束，因此网友们之间往往可以建立起很亲密的关系。"
加文对42名年龄从19到26岁的聊天室常客进行了深度采访。在这些自愿被访者中，29人和网友有着亲密的朋友关系或者网恋的经历，其中21人正计划和网友见面。还有一对网友如今已经结为夫妻。
3月15日在英国布来克浦举行的英国心理学学会（British
Psychological Society）的年会上加文对自己的这一研究结果作了陈述。他说："多数情况下，当网友们第一次见面时，他们能够很自然的由网上的角色过渡到现实生活中的真实角色，因为他们彼此已经十分熟悉了。"
他还说："在网上，男人在情感上会更加坦诚，而女人们在讨论两性问题的时候也不再遮遮掩掩。"
加文在研究结果中还说多数网上聊天者在介绍自己的身高或者头发颜色时都会耍一些小小的"伎俩"，撒一些善意的谎言。但多数情况下，这些谎言只是同实际情况稍有不符，而并非完全的捏造。
加文说："他们这么做还是希望自己的外表能够符合世俗的标准。所以男士在向网友介绍自己的时候，往往把自己形容成金发碧眼的人，女性网友则把自己说成是一位金发女郎或者将自己的胸围稍稍夸大一点。"
"当然，在这些被访者中还是有12个人在网上所说的话完全是捏造的，而其余被访者只是将事实夸大了一点点。"
